Are You Yelling At Me? (CAPS a Big NO NO)

WHEN WILL YOU CALL ME?

Some time ago, I received the above via sms from a candidate. At first glance, I felt I was being yelled at. My instinct told me she’s not in a happy mood. But when I did make the phone call, it wasn’t so. It was the CAPS she used that had given me that impression.

I asked around and noticed many people concur with me that texting or writing in caps seems to give that impression. And it’s true. Unfortunately, not many people are aware of this. And sometimes the consequences can be costly. You might lose a job offer because of that. Recently, I have a candidate who met almost all the job criteria and was about to be offered until he replied an sms to the potential employer…

DON’T CALL ME NOW.  MEETING. CALL ME TOMORROW MORNING.

In addition to his lack of professionalism, his fate was more or less sealed. 

Caps actually makes reading more difficult but having said that, it has its place though. We commonly use it if we wished to emphasize a word (not the whole page of content) to depict it’s importance. And that’s about the only usage of caps I can think of.

Interestingly, I found a handwriting analyst and he has some interesting discovery about people who “write” in CAPS.

These people do not like to disclose anything about themselves to others. They are uncomfortable talking about their personal lives — at least in interpersonal relationships. They do not want others to know about themselves. Often, such writers do not express their emotions in public.

Usually, all-caps handwriting lacks connection between letters, which indicates that the writer does not like to relate to people at a personal level. Also, such writers are quite egotistic. They hold strong opinions and it’s very tough to get  them to see another point of view. They emphasize a lot on their day-to-day lives, rather than spending some time planning their future.

Perhaps you enjoy writing in CAPS and you don’t care what people think but if you are writing to represent your professional self, my advice is to avoid this style for your own good.

Are You A Rhino Or A Hedgehog?

I learned something about resolving conflicts recently - in a marriage course. We all know about conflicts – that they are inevitable and its difficult to resolve because we tend to have different opinions and we are naturally selfish. But most of us fail to handle anger properly because we are either rhinos or hedgehogs.

Rhinos or Hedgehogs?

This is rather new to me but by knowing whether we are a rhino or hedgehog helps. As most of us might know, rhinos have a reputation for being extremely aggressive and they charge readily at perceived threat. That’s their instinct and it was observed they charge tree trunks and termite mounds without giving a second thought. That’s who they are – can’t change that.

On the other hand, hedgehogs are small little animals that have stiff, sharp spines (similar to porcupines). They are small enough to fit in our hands but too prickly to hold. When disturbed or under threat, they will curl up into a tight ball, with its spines sticking out in all directions. And it will take an incredible amount of effort to get them to uncurl themselves.

In a conflict when we are upset or provoked, we can react like a rhino that launches an attack without thinking or we can be like the hedgehog, withdraws.

It’s good to find out what are we as well as those that we are working closely with. That would be the first step towards resolving a conflict.

So, after the exercise, I discovered I’m a true hedgehog. The "withdraw" reaction comes out in the form of silent treatment, needless to say my better half has never appreciated that much :p

So, what are you?

What Is The Generation You Are Part Of Really...Take This Test

This is extracted from Penelopetrunk.com. Though it's an old article, I find it really interesting to use digital media engagement to assess which generation we are truly from. She interviewed Margaret Weigel, who has worked at Harvard and MIT doing research on digital media engagement. Weigel thinks that we should not judge people rigidly by the years they were born. She says, "If we want to define people by categories, it should be by behaviors because this is something each of us chooses."

So here is a test. Add up your points and find out what generation you're really a part of:

Do you have your own web page? (1 point)

Have you made a web page for someone else? (2 points)

Do you IM your friends? (1 point)

Do you text your friends? (2 points)

Do you watch videos on YouTube? (1 point)

Do you remix video files from the Internet? (2 points)

Have you paid for and downloaded music from the Internet? (1 point)

Do you know where to download free (illegal) music from the Internet? (2 points)

Do you blog for professional reasons? (1 point)

Do you blog as a way to keep an online diary? (2 points)

Have you visited MySpace at least five times? (1 point)

Do you communicate with friends on Facebook? (2 points)

Do you use email to communicate with your parents? (1 point)

Did you text to communicate with your parents? (2 points)

Do you take photos with your phone? (1 point)

Do you share your photos from your phone with your friends? (2 points)

0-1 point – Baby Boomer

2-6 points – Generation Jones

6- 12 points – Generation X

12 or over – Generation Y

Whoa lah...my score: 14. I might have scored more if I shared the same written language with my parents. My parents primary language is Chinese but mine is English. We simply don't write to each other. It's weird, I know..:P

So, what's your score? Do you think this is a good indicator?

Make Peace With Imperfection

Whatever I do is just not good enough for her...

Sounds familiar?

Probably you have just found yourself working with a perfectionist.

I personally had on many occasions worked with perfectionists. And when come to bosses, it can be a nightmare. I remember this perfectionist boss shouting at me on a beautiful morning to get a scratch from a staircase railing removed (he thought I was God) because he cannot tolerate even a scratch – for that little scratch irritates him, get on his nerves , it made him mad. From then on, I met a couple of more perfectionists and I like to compare them with this ex-boss of mine. How perfectionist is this perfectionist? ..I will start analyzing.

I concluded that an absolute perfectionist never get to enjoy inner peace. They always wore a frown on their faces, words that came out from their lips were always filled with complaints and when you hang around them long enough, you may even catch the perfectionist bug!

Do we need this type of people in the work place? Ironically, people who are very hard on others are usually very hard on themselves. They set high targets for themselves as their need of achievement is extremely high. Read about McCllelands’s three basic needs of employees. In other words, there are people that tend to be more perfectionist than others because of this need. The good news is that there are positions in the company that you would not mind a true perfectionist sitting on them such as Accountants and Engineers. Recruiters will spot for hints of perfectionist in these candidates and if they have it, we say they probably fit the job better than someone who does not.

But let’s get this right – imperfection is part of life. Whatever vocation we are in, we should not cease to do our best but it would turn out to be a problem when we are overly attached and focused on what’s wrong. I think it’s good to realize that while there’s always a better way of doing something, that does not mean we cannot enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

I like one saying – as you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself. And you know what, that would really free many of us from taking ourselves too seriously. So, chill out, will ya...:)