Are You A Rhino Or A Hedgehog?

I learned something about resolving conflicts recently - in a marriage course. We all know about conflicts – that they are inevitable and its difficult to resolve because we tend to have different opinions and we are naturally selfish. But most of us fail to handle anger properly because we are either rhinos or hedgehogs.

Rhinos or Hedgehogs?

This is rather new to me but by knowing whether we are a rhino or hedgehog helps. As most of us might know, rhinos have a reputation for being extremely aggressive and they charge readily at perceived threat. That’s their instinct and it was observed they charge tree trunks and termite mounds without giving a second thought. That’s who they are – can’t change that.

On the other hand, hedgehogs are small little animals that have stiff, sharp spines (similar to porcupines). They are small enough to fit in our hands but too prickly to hold. When disturbed or under threat, they will curl up into a tight ball, with its spines sticking out in all directions. And it will take an incredible amount of effort to get them to uncurl themselves.

In a conflict when we are upset or provoked, we can react like a rhino that launches an attack without thinking or we can be like the hedgehog, withdraws.

It’s good to find out what are we as well as those that we are working closely with. That would be the first step towards resolving a conflict.

So, after the exercise, I discovered I’m a true hedgehog. The "withdraw" reaction comes out in the form of silent treatment, needless to say my better half has never appreciated that much :p

So, what are you?

Am I Having A Mid-life Crisis?

I’m sure feel I'm in one. Otherwise, I won’t be blogging about it, would I? Ironically, I used to jokingly tell my friends four years ago that I'm in a mid-life crisis when they spotted me driving a new roadster...yeah, i needed a change. mid-life crisis, what else? That was supposed to brush off any further questioning.

Four years today this phrase came back to haunt me. Probably I’m getting old. Of course, age has to do with it. In fact, age has everything to do with it! I google searched on mid life crisis symptoms and found this interesting page .

I like the points listed that acts like a checklist. So I went through the points one after another and see how I fit in.

Lets see..

The first point…No longer “knowing” the person staring back at you in the mirror

"Knowing?" I got a slight problem with this. I don’t even "look" at the mirror that often nowadays. The one I used for make-up in the morning has a spoiled bulb. The light that I ever get is behind my back. So it’s a dim affair in the morning. In the office, forget about the mirror. It is so tiny that the only thing I ever spotted was the white hair sticking out unto my forehead. Shucks! Time to dye my hair again…and that’s the only time I seriously look and it's my hair I'm staring. Well, I was not born with white hair. So, it makes sense, no longer "knowing" this person. A tick here. Next..

2. Worrying about where your life is going

I know where my life is going - the numbers are climbing. Well, who isn't? Worrying? Now, who has time for that? No tick.

3. Feeling frustrated with just about everything

Feeling frustrated, yes. About everything? I would have died long ago if "everything". Tick or no tick. Oh my, this is tough.

4. Experiencing feelings of regret

Of course there are regrets. I have been alive and kicking all these years not hiding in a closet...harlo? Alright, half tick.

5. Focusing on what you are losing. It feels as though you are standing on shifting sands, that your best years are behind you and that everything is changing.

Gosh, menopause came into mind. So shall I give a tick?

6. Feeling almost 'invisible'. You may feel stripped of your identity and purpose and find it increasingly difficult to be 'seen' when you no longer attract instant admiration.

“no longer attract instant admiration” LOL I can't even remember an experience of instant admiration. So, where is the point of comparison? A tick or no tick this one?

7. Thinking that time is running out. Midlife is that time when you metaphorically turn a corner and see the finishing post for the first time!

Oh, I have trained myself to have the end in mind all the time! And I hope I'm not being delusional. Or am I?

8. Questioning the meaning of life. Midlife has been defined as the time when you reach the top of the ladder only to find it's leaning against the wrong wall. If you keep asking yourself 'Is this it?', then chances are your ladder is indeed against the wrong wall.

Alright, I confessed. I do asked this question sometimes. But I didn’t know I’m leaning on a wall. Am I not supposed to break down walls? Ok, this is lame but seriously, one makes the best of whatever wall given as long as the wall is not on the brink of collapse. I refuse to tick this one. You can say I didn't get it right. But I'm standing my ground.

9. Feeling trapped.

Thank God I’m not inside a lift...phew!

10. Wanting to make some changes but not know where to begin. Feeling overwhelmed saps your power and keeps you stuck, helpless and fearful of making the 'wrong' choices. The way to move out of the paralysis is to stop 'getting ready' and start 'doing'. Take responsibility for making change happen, no matter how small and remind yourself how good it feels to be in control.

This is tricky. I need more time...

End of checklist.

The author of the page finally said what may feel like a crisis is in fact an inevitable and natural life stage characterized by internal change and reorientation. I really like that. So, it’s a stage or phase of life one has to go through. I conclude now that mid life crisis is a misused term. What crisis? I probably just need a vacation...:p

World Cup = Lower Productivity

“The World Cup is causing human resource managers a headache as late nights and anxiety over match outcomes take their toll on employee productivity.”

The World Cup has to be the most watched sports event in the whole world. It does not only capture footfall fans but people from all walks of life like me who get crazy about football once every four years only. OK, I may be exaggerating but it’s true, people do caught up with the hype or fever. News about the world cup is everywhere. Your office colleagues talk about them. Now with the Facebook and Twitter community, the wall posts and tweets about this event are everywhere. How can you possibly avoid the excitement surrounding the world cup?

If you are a hard-core fan, you’ll be spending time watching three matches a day. That’s at least 4.5 hours! Not only that, the 2:30am live match in Malaysia can be a real “inconvenience” because it’s going to affect your work the next day. And who and what suffer the most? The employers and your work productivity! Complaints such as high absenteeism, MCs, lack of concentration due to lack of sleep, potential work place accidents and the like contribute to one outcome: lower productivity! Of course, the employers cannot issue a memo to stop employees from following the games. You can’t install CCTVs in their houses, can you?

Worst still, betting. Though there may be celebrations if the whole company is siding a winning team but if the employees divided among themselves and pit against one another, unwarranted exchanges, anxiety and conflicts may be the result. Again, what does this leads to? Lower productivity!

So, is world cup good for business? Perhaps not. But as for most employers that are as crazy about world cup as anyone else, who cares? It only happens once in four years. Everyone including bosses are making adjustments and planning their appointments around their favorite team matches schedules.

I will be the first to admit I did just that. I was supposed to have an appointment at 6pm last evening. But I realized I may miss the 7:30 pm match between Argentina and South Korea. I quickly checked if I can move the appointment to 4pm instead. Asked why I have to reschedule, without sounding like a world cup freak, I briefly mentioned, “I’m just not available after 6:30pm.”

Mediocrity Is Celebrated

My mom used to tell me when I was young, “Hey girl, whatever you do, make sure you don’t get too proud.” It was a mantra used not by the old folks to young people, afraid they may forget their roots(with good intentions) but even by peers during school days. When someone did well, we assumed the person has now become proud. “Dah jadi bongkak, orang tu.”

With that drumming into our young minds, we seldom flaunt our talents or gifts, afraid people may label us as “proud” people. Instead, we embrace average results and settled with mediocrity. We are programmed to reply, “No, I’m not that good lah” And we repeat that a hundred times! Until it had become part of us – self-fulfilled prophecy! Oh, how we celebrate mediocrity! Cos we are afraid if we come across as too good, we may be called “proud” or trying to show off.

And we brought this mentality to the workplace. We become like everyone else. We dare not perform too well less we’ll be labeled “si bodek”. So, we hide in a corner, give 70% of our effort and never our 100%. Again, mediocrity is to be celebrated.

Yes, blame it on our parents, on our school system, on our Asian culture.

By the time you realize you are a mediocre, surrounded by mediocres and hidden in a mediocre organization, you probably be hitting the 50 mark, and who gives a d**n then?

Whose job is more important?

These pictures were taken during the Malaysian Open Tennis Finals. A major event such as this takes a lot of manpower to make it a success. Everyone has a job to do. Whose job is more important?

First off, the protagonists of the event….



But who ensures the players play smoothly? Bingo– it’s the ball boys and ball girls.



But how can we forget the umpire – the most important person in the match? When you get a penalty or a fine, no "face" is given even though you can be No. 1 player in the world. Watch out, Federer!



But this game won’t even take place if it’s not because of sponsors and one important thing they demand – the match must be telecast… LIVE, if possible. But no one ever thank this video cameraman. I wonder why…



And let’s not forget the blogosphere and Facebook – layman with a camera is very powerful nowadays…ahem…



Some hated the paparazzi but everyone will start to panic if they did not turn up…:(



A winner must emerge at the end. No one can accept a no winner match, no?



So, whose job is more important to determine the event’s success?





You guess it right! It has to be me among the many that oooh and aaahh and with intermittent shouts of “Davydenko” and “Verdasco” throughout the match. And not forgetting we have to PAY to get this job done …Not an easy job - money, sweat and all...LOL..

Funny Quotes With The Word "Work"

This is just for laughs….

1. The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. -Robert Frost

2. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? -Edgar Bergen

3. I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. -Jerome K Jerome

4. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. -Robert Orben


5. People are always available for work in the past tense. -Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour


6. If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. -Lane Kirkland

7. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -Bertrand Russel

8. The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more. -Jonas Salk

9. I didn't have to work till I was three. But after that, I never stopped. -Martha Raye

10. Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? -Barbra Streisand


11. By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. -Robert Frost

12. I worked at a farm, in an office, and did a bit of mail. I found them all tedious. -Tim Burgess

13. Work is a refuge of people who have nothing better to do. -Oscar Wilde

14. A woman's work is never done, especially the part she asks her husband to do. -Unknown Source

15. If you work to feed your stomach, you’ll never stop working in your lifetime. -me (lame..)

16. What can be worst than work? No work, seriously… -me (ok..it's lame)


17. I only enjoy one type of work – work out! -me (lame? whatever...:))

Job Hunting Jargons - What do they really mean?

In a job advertisement, it is usual to read some background of the company and a list of requirements for the job. Do they literally mean what it’s said…or is there something else behind the lines…? Well, most of the time, they mean exactly what they mean but experience will tell you there is more to it.

Want to know what some of these lines really mean….. check these out…

We operate in a very COMPETITIVE environment – probably means…
Our staff turnover is high - Not many sane people can stick around for long.

We are a FAST-PACED and DYNAMIC company – probably means…
Don’t expect us to train you. You joined us and you are supposed to deliver results…FAST!

Our salary package is COMPETITIVE – probably means…
The company remains competitive by paying less than their competitors.

We offer FLEXIBLE HOURS - probably means...
Expect to work overtime and more than 40 hours a week, but get paid for 30.

Ability to COMMUNICATE effectively at all levels – probably means…
Management communicates, you listen and find out what you need to do on your own.

Candidate must have AN EYE FOR DETAILS – probably means…
We don’t have time to review your work and don't expect quality control. You screw up, you pay!

You may be assigned OTHER TASKS FROM TIME TO TIME – probably means…
They want to make full use of you and beware: anyone in the office can boss you around.

Candidates with a wide VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE are welcome – probably means...
You are most likely to do “three-persons” job.

PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS is a must – probably means...
You will be part of an organization that is forever on “fire-fighting” mode. So, be prepared!

Ok..ok..they may not be as horrific as it sounds and not all job advertisements were drafted with that in mind, but I have a hunch many people, like me who have been in the job market long enough will admit there is a grain of truth in every one of them!

10 Best Work Humor

Take a break, my friend and browse through my collection of work or office humor - quotes, funny stories, pictures, cartoons, comics and jokes. If you want a daily dose, bookmark some of these sites. Keep the humor going…we need more of that in the work place. As Mike Moore aptly puts it, “A happy workplace is a productive workplace.”

1) Eager to impress the boss

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

Source: Comedy-zone

2)

Source: The Star.com

3)

Source: VeryFunnyPics

4) Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

Source: Butlerwebs

5)

Source: Allyhunt

6) DILBERT'S SALARY THEOREM

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know, the more you make.

Source: Lifeisajoke

7) Office Truisms

(a) When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

(b) You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

(c) No one gets sick on Wednesdays.

(d) The longer the title, the less important the job.

Source: Officejokes

8)

Source: Clean Jokes and Laughs

9) Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty at the Office, But Aren't:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop.
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!!.
6. I want it on my desk, NOW.
5. HMMMMMMMMMM.....I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
AND #1...It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there.

Source: Bitoffun

10)

Source: Motivationalplus

Most Important Words in Working Life

You want to be successful in your working life? Well, whether you are working in Malaysia or any part of the world, the best tip is this – get your human relations right from the beginning by knowing these important words.

The six most important words: “I admit I made a mistake.”

The five most important words: “You did a good job.”

The four most important words: “What is your opinion?”

The three most important words: “If you please.”

The two most important words: “Thank you.”

The most important word: “We”

And the least important word and don't use it if you don't have to is “I”.

Top 5 Reasons Why Computers Must Be Female

I stumbled upon this in a joke book.

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
4. The message, "Bad command or file name," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.



I've a sneaky suspicion that this was composed by a female, and a married one too. Hmmnn...